Never fitting in....

You know what really sucks? Never really ever fitting in. My whole life, I have never really fit in.  Even back in school, because of changing schools in 3rd and 7th grade. I was always on the outside of any of the groups. I have had 2 or 3 close friends, but that's it. Even out of the 6 bridesmaids I only really talk to one of them regularly and she is my sister. I still considered all of them my friends, but none of them call to see how I am doing. So I guess I am not there friend anymore.
I thought once my boys were in school I would find some mommy friends. But I just missed the boat on that too. They all had older kids and had known each other for a few years before we started there.   There is a great group of ladies at school that I am always just on the outside of, due to my own depression and anxiety I miss school functions. I don't blame them,  why would anyone want to be friends with someone who says they will be there and then cancels. 
Now that I am working full time, it's basically out of the question to even go.  Then on the nights I can do something I am not invited anyway.
It really sucks to feel like if I wasnt here no one would miss me.